the day

Hari keputusan, 2/5/13, 10.30pagi

Pagi tu bangun dengan tahajud & hajat.
Kemudian duha.
Dan duha buat kali kedua untuk tenangkan fikiran & tetapkan hati.
Meminta lulus, kalau itu terbaik buat saya.
Tapi yang lebih diminta adalah usaha yang diredhai & hati yang meredhai walau apa pun keputusannya.
Itu yang diulang-ulang do'a.

Tiba di auditorium, tengok keliling.
Semua menanti dengan penuh debar.
Banyak muhasabah tentang suasana padang Mahsyar.
Satu persatu nama dipanggil.
Nama yang tidak dipanggil, dikira gagal.
Kalau disini, dikira gagal, masih ada peluang kedua, walaupun ianya sesuatu yang amat meletihkan.
Tapi di akhirat, yang tidak ke syurga, hanya akan menuju ke satu-satunya pilihan lain, iaitu neraka.
Na'uzubillah.

Buka surah Al-Mu'minun, baca ayat2 di permulaannya.
Definition of success; ayat 1-11.
Trying to convince myself, Allah don't judge someone by wether they have MD or not.
It's a title that does not define you in the eye of Allah.
Allah view his servant by the marking of taqwa.
And by that, everybody have an equal chance.

"Zatel Iman Rozali
Nor Aimi Abdul Rahman
Nurul Ashiqin Hassan
Siti Hajar Rosli.."

satu persatu nama usrahmate disebut Prof Raymond, dekan Fakulti Perubatan.
Subhanallah, Alhamdulillah.. and Allah knows how happy I am for them.

Lub dub lub dub.
After nearly hundred names, there it goes,



"A125740,
Nadiah Ahmad Sabri.."



T-T
Aimi kat sebelah peluk.
Saya keluar dewan, cari surau, buat sujud syukur.
Dan call zauj, call mama.

N : Assalamualaikum.
AR : Waalaikumussalam.
N : Abg, nadia lulus (suara nangis)
AR : Ape dia?
N : Nadia lulus pro exam.
AR : Alhamdulillah.
Allahuakbar.
Alhamdulillah.
Alhamdulillah.
N : Alhamdulillah.. :')

Kembali ke dewan cari study group mate (yang termasuk usrahmate + ahli2 bersekutu yang lain).
Mardi nangis sambil kata,
"Awak tau tak semua study group kita lulus?
Saya rasa.. manis.. sangat :')"
All of us, hug each other.
A long, thankful hug.

Study group yang bertunggang terbalik sepanjang 3 minggu study week dan seminggu theory paper.
Sampai betul2 sehabis pulun dah orang kata.

It was very sweet indeed.
Very.
Because it was more than study group.
It's ukhuwah.
Saya yakin, ada do'a2 dalam setiap sujud hajat buat satu sama lain.
Mungkin tidak lulus kerana do'a sendiri., tapi do'a sahabat2 yang lain.
Sayang korang semua kerana Allah~ ^-^

Untuk rekod, saya dapat -
Long Case : thyphoid adenitis (waay beyond expectation, of course)
During initial presentation, suspected perforated appendicitis. Explorative laparotomy done, found out it's thyphoid leading to perforated bowel. Ileostomy done, however, complicated with ischaemic bowel. Another ileostomy done after. (can't answer quite a number of questions asked by examiner, that's why I prepare myself hard to accept failure)
Examiner : Mr Azim (vascular surgeon) & Dr Esa (anaesth)

Short Cases
1) IM: Stroke - lower limb examination.
2) Surgery: Varicose vein examination.
3) O&G: Counselling on patient discharging from ward. She had SVD complicated with PPH secondary to retained placenta. Manual removal of placenta done. (examiner Prof Har, hehe.. cuak sbab dia kenal)
4) Paediatric: Abdomen examination - hepatosplenomegaly.

Alhamdulillah for everything maktub by Allah.
These 5 years in medical school, 3 weeks of study leave, 2 weeks of professional exam
had made me become extra sensitive of this very common ayat Kursi;

"To Him, belongs whatever is in the heavens and whatever is on the earth.
Who is it that can intercede (give syafaat) except by His permission?
He knows what is presently before them and what will be after them,
and they encompass not a thing of His knowledge except for what He wills"
{Al Baqarah: 155}

Heaven, earth & everything in between.
And we do not own a single knowledge, except for what He want upon us.

So small,
so limitful
= us :')

Ilalliqa' ma'assalamah.



p/s: orang2 maness. semua gambar phone
p/s: zauj tengah induksi. dapat HUSM katanya