This is an older post of mine *from my older version of blog*
But i love it a lot.. and decided to keep it..
The date is in December 2007.
That time i just received my first sem's result of Asasi Sains.
It was er.. really teruk la, i can say. Hehe.
I never thought i will be where i am right now, at that moment.
Today is 28th December. Exactly 6 months from the date of my previous post. Well, just 6 months.. but i's a time which completely turn my life 180 degrees.
I learn.. and i'm learning. And Allah have somehow make me fall. So that, i realise that i'm not learning enough and there's so much more to learn. His Power is beyond our knowledge, so does His plans.
The moment, i've checked my final exam's result, everything's seems blur. My dream breaks. And it is very very close to wipe all my hopes away. I am dissapointed with myself, not others.
I'm thinking of my parents, how i'm supposed to repay them this way. The thing that first cross my mind is, i should tell somebody. I felt like i can't deal it myself, perhaps, not at that moment. I tell my mum, and she said, "Try better next sem, don't play-play anymore. And if you want any help, we'll try to help you in any kind of ways"
My aunt talk to me that night, and said with tears (because she saw me crying), "I know you had study, i know you had try your best, we don't blame you. But we're all worried, that you'll stop trying or be too depressed. Don't be sad. If you have a dream, go for it. Don't give up yet.."
My love one said, "I don't want to see you sad anymore. Allah have give you a lot of things. This time, He just want to take a little from you. You have to be strong, you have your family which is always supporting you. I went the same way. We can do this together" *thanks.. hope so*
My emotion is unstable for a week. Maybe because i've never feel a really big failure before. I even drop my tears, eating lunch. I'm just too upset with myself because i've to trouble a lot of people. The nicest moment after all, is when my mum hugged me and said don't cry anymore (because i really cried like i forgot i'm 18). That time, i believe a mum is always a comfort. Mum is always a natural healer.
When i fall, i realised, people around me aren't what I think they are. They don't blame me, instead they make me stand from the fall. To run, or walk, or crawl, or stay still afterward is up to me. But the one who makes the difference is my family, my love one, those people around me. I thanked Allah, for making me know, before it's too late.
Deep in heart i also learn, this is a part of Allah's plan. Maybe a punishment for not being His grateful servant. Maybe a turning point of the path for my future ahead. Maybe His way of reminding me, everything is in His hands. He knows better than me. Allah knows best.
After all, this time is the time for a really serious gambling, because i put my ambition as a bet.
Posted by Nadiah Ahmad Sabri =) at 10:29 AM 0 comments
Labels: Mum's quote "Believe in Allah.. pray to Him.. He'll answer"
And dear Allah, He had granted all the wishes and prayers..
Thanx Allah for everything.. for every single story you created in my life.
Alhamdulillah, and i'll keep stepping forward.
Please, never make me far away from You..